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[02 May 2006|01:21am] |
i don't ever update this, and it sucks because now that i have a funny story to tell i have to put it in the right context.
long story short (i'll explain later) i'm not in nyc anymore. back in tx, temporarily nannying for another family with very weird family dynamics. i've been cleaning this house like crazy, trying to restore this place to a livable environment... okay i think that's enough backstory.
well i had pretty much cleaned out the mom's armoire, except for some stuff at the very bottom i couldn't really see b/c of poor lighting. all i saw was this thick cotten woven netting from a hammock, so i figured thats all that was down there. hahaha but oh no. i was in the bedroom on the dad's computer sunday playing mahjongg and karli, who is 6, starts rustling around in that pile. and pulls out a leather whip....
what this job lacks in monetary compensation is made up for with the kids finding mommy and daddy's sex toys. cause there are some things that money can't buy.
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[29 Jan 2006|10:51pm] |
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so i just subscribed to netflix. i already have quite a list of movies to rent, but i'm up for suggestions. got any?
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[29 Dec 2005|02:39am] |
I LOVE YOU
there. i said it.
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| i'm just sayin... |
[08 Dec 2005|11:30pm] |
shopping for underwear is much more fun when you know there might be someone seeing you wearing it soon.
(i wish i could say this on blogger. that's why i got the damn thing. damn south oaks!)
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| busy tonight? |
[22 Nov 2005|12:14pm] |
hello my nyc girls! if you aren't busy tonight, you should come hang out with me. i am going to see this band lola ray play at the myopenbar.com launch party that i read about on the gothamist.com
website. i've seen lola ray play before, they are fun, i like them a
lot. the party starts at 9, lola ray plays at 9:30. it goes on until
3am or so, and there are other bands playing, dj's, etc. no cover, free
drinks. i probably will only stay until 11 or 12, but i wanted to
extend the invitation to anyone who'd want to go. if you'd want to meet
up, email me: findblancomeow @ gmail . com i mapquested the address too.
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[22 Oct 2005|11:05pm] |
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so on the gap ad campaign for the "favorite fit" jeans and t shirts,
they have a bunch of musicians like jason mraz, joss stone, alanis
morissette, etc. talking about their favorite songs. especially for
people that surround and saturate their lives with music, that seems
like it would be incredibly diffiuclt to choose. are there ANY of you that could pin down your one favorite song? i
couldn't. i could maybe narrow it down to a top 10. in fact i will try
and i'll post it later. but if you can tell my your favorite song, i
want to know what it is and why.
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[20 Aug 2005|04:20pm] |
so last night i just almost saw a new york sunrise from the rooftop. but not quite. that's okay though, there is always next weekend.
babysat last night for james. cute little boy a few months older than eliza. his mom jenna is cool as hell, i really really like her. she and christine got to be friends when eliza was a newborn and christine didn't know what the hell to do with a baby and jenna helped her preserve her sanity. anyway, so after a full week of nannying, i head over to their apartment for some babysitting. their apartment is incredible. so much bigger and more open than ours. high ceilings, awesome view. it is probably the same square footage if not a little more than our apartment, but with one fewer bedroom so there is a lot more space to spread out. next time i am there hopefully i will have a digital camera by then and i can take some pictures, because it is definitely a home begging to be photographed.
anyway, after babysitting i met up with my friend steven (hottie hispanic elevator guy) at 8th ave and 14th st. that is a long ass way away from 86 and madison, let me tell you. i tried to take the subway initially, and i got stressed out because i transferred at a station that did not go where i needed to go, and the station was huge and had winding hallways and it is really really sickly disgusting hot in the tunnels. so i was frustrated and sweating and a little self conscious that my eyeliner had melted off. i was being a little shy too, i was nervous about hanging out with people i didn't know, afraid i'd come across as the awkward southern virgin who can't handle the big city life. i almost turned around and went back home. but in the same spirit of how i got to new york inthe first place, i kept going even though at times i wasn't sure why i'd even left the house. and i'm glad i did. i met steven's friends joel (pronounced joe-L) and one of his friends whose name i don't remember but she was a cool girl. and lewis and allison. nice people. i met them at this bar that had a back room with a very central perk coffehouse vibe to it. overstuffed couches and tv trays, very casual, very cool. they had one of those touch screen computer juke box things so steven and i picked out a bunch of songs on there. his choices were a deftones/team sleep theme but i broke it up a little with some relient k and a tribe called quest. good times.
so a little while after lewis and joe-L and the unnamed cool chick left (alison works there and she was closing) we ventured out as well. hit two other random bars on the way. one was cool and one was not. and then we went to the knitting factory. steven is one of these people that knows people everywhere he goes. which is not a bad way to acclimated to the city, following around a friend like that. the knitting factory is set up similarly to the bronco bowl. minus of course the broncos and the bowling and the fact that it is now a home depot. but there is one main auditorium type area that is really the knitting factory and a few smaller clubs inside, and we went to one of them to hear brazillian music. interesting. actually, no it wasn't. the guy at the door couldn't find his name on the list but let us in free anyway and once we got it we saw that was because it was dead in there. we stayed for a few tequila shots (one each that we paid for and one each that we didn't because our absentee bar maid left the bottle right in front of us within arms reach) and then took off for home. we took some beer up to the roof of our building and hung out for a while, talked about music, school, and scoliosis. much better view than from my room, definitely. i finally snuck (as much as you can sneak while waking up two dogs and one baby) back into the apartment around 6am.
so while it was not with the irish guy, there was some making out in the elevator. just thought i'd throw that in.
: )
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| boys speak in rythym, girls in code |
[01 Aug 2005|09:20pm] |
i hate being one of those girls that analyzes every little thing that a guy says to me. BUT i think bonez just told me he's glad i stuck it out during the crappy times and am still here on the east coast.
Admirlbonz (8:53:03 PM): that is cool so this is a keeper family
FindBlancoMeow (8:54:07 PM): oh definitely. i'm really just amazed by how awesome everything turned out
Admirlbonz (8:54:27 PM): that is cool, now arent you glad you hung around
FindBlancoMeow (8:54:51 PM): haha yeah, i'm glad i stuck it out
Admirlbonz (8:55:19 PM): well i am gotta go i will talk to at another time
“Admirlbonz” is away from the computer as of 8:55:36 PM.
: )
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| confidence, cohen. confidence. |
[31 Jul 2005|09:03pm] |
this weekend was kind of random. i drove my car up to charlie, who honestly i wasn't really ready to see yet after he got snotty on me when i was staying with him. but i had to put my car somewhere and he said i could park it in the lot for his condo, so that's what i did. it was a five hour drive, and i was exhausted before i even left the city. at one point i had to pull over at a rest stop and take a 20 minute power nap because i was struggling to stay awake. i got there at 3am. we drove about an hour up to maine the next day to go to the beach, but it was way too cold to swim. and of course we ended up on the gay section of the beach with his soccer buddies. we laid out in the sun, they checked out guys, i got sunburned, and a few do-gooders came around and passed out little kits of condoms, lube, etc. "and because we like to treat our ladies right," in addition to my kit, they gave me a female condom and a dental dam. how thoughtful. it's only been in the last few months that i've learned what a dental dam is (thanks to the wonders of television and sue johanson).
we got back from the beach, drove around town, and went out for the evening. to (drum roll please...) a gay bar. two, in fact. now i've just got to say that at this point of my life i could really care less that charlie is gay. you like dudes, so what? so do i. but does everything we do have to have a gay element to it? so i was irritated that we were going to a second gay bar when the first one was so so so lame. like hell with a cover charge. when we left, i was like, i would like my five dollars and that hour of my life back please. but when we got to the second bar it actually ended up being a lot of fun. i made friends with one of the dick dancers (the same idea as strippers but they have on underwear) and met a drag queen named Ginger Snap. who was not dressed in drag. but he did have a fan that he would pull out while he danced, it was weird. it kind of reminded me of when an off duty police officer whips out their badge. and towards the end of the night this older guy was dancing by me when he stepped on my foot. he turns around to look at me, and got all excited. "honey, are you a fag hag? oh my god, good for you, we need more of you out there!" now it's nice to be appreciated, but i am no one's hag! it was funny though, for a night that started out as a bust, i had a really good time and laughed a lot.
more often than not though, after my time with charlie i come home really frustrated. it's like, has he always been this snotty? is this a new development or did i just dismiss it when we were younger because i felt bad when the boys made fun of the gayness? i don't know. it just wears on me after a while. i just dont understand why someone would be so okay making their friends feel stupid. consistently. maybe charlie and i just get along better when we see each other less often, i don't know.
but all that aside, before i left home for the weekend, i unpacked all my stuff and rearranged some furniture to make things a little more orderly, and my room has begun to feel like my room. it's nice. now tomorrow i will run up to best buy to get an ethernet cable, and me and my pretty pretty mac will be back in business. yay!
two weeks until warped tour! i'm pysched. cool bands (including relient k, who i have not seen live in years and years), good friends, and i may be bold and ask out the boy. in fact i'm pretty sure i will. at least today i'm pretty sure. ask me in a week and a half and i may not be so confident.
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| she makes the city feel like home |
[25 Jul 2005|06:00pm] |
my first day working in new york city, i saw donna karan, the guy from american pie, and two transvestites. that was in the span of an hour.
my feet hurt, but today was good.
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| if there's a light leave it on |
[09 Jul 2005|09:34pm] |
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mood |
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autopilot off |
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the thing about having so much free time, most of it spent alone in a hotel room, is it gives you waaaaaay too much time to think. to re-think, to analyze and dissect any and every topic that crosses my mind. i feel like my brain is working the way a cow chews it's cud, just over and over and over again, and i'm hungry for some sort of resolution. but my brain just doesn't seem to stop chewing. i've always kind of been like this, with the tendency to over analyze any given situation if i don't have something to distract myself from doing it. but usually i'm blessed by the distraction. for the time being i'm just sort of left alone with myself.
and that's not so bad i guess. james used to always use the example "i wouldn't know so and so or be good friends with them if i didn't ever spend any time with them" and it won't ever hurt anybody to know themselves and be friends with themselves. and if that sounds like a hokey self help book, well, so be it.
i talked to bonez online a little bit the other day. not really sure what i think about all that. i hate hate hate the new stage of things where you totally don't know what is going on the other person's head. because i like him. but i can't tell if he's into me at all. he seems almost kind of indifferent. and part of that could be his personality, just being a smartass and laid back. two things that i generally enjoy about people. but right now it's just throwing me off. i know that he had an ugly breakup with a girl being really vindictive towards him and some dumb things he did, and it seems like maybe he's really wary of dealing with crap like that again. and if that's the case, i could hardly blame him. or maybe he's just not intererested in me and i'm looking for reasons to make it a little less about me. could go either way i guess. see what i mean about the overanalyzing?
i also keep thinking about my current living/working situation. as in that i don't have one. the manhattan family wants to basically run a background check on me and have me go on vacation with them as a trial week to decide if they want to hire me. and i'm cool with that. i'd rather them be cautious in the decision than jump into it and then decide in two weeks "oops, yeah, not workin for us." BUT if after a week with them they decide i'm not the one, where does that leave me? i can't keep running up my dad's credit card staying in hotels indefinitely. and as much as i think about going home (every day. every single day) that's not really what i want to do. but there has to be a point when you say enough is enough, this didn't work out and i have to do something different. so i think that if the livingston's decide they can't handle the wonder that is hampton, then i'm gonna have to head back home. my dad thinks when i say that that i mean head home and wait for a nanny job offer and then come back up here. but no, i mean go home, go back to b&n or work in his office for him and save money for ogle. and that wouldn't be so bad. but i'd definitely prefer for the livingston's to not be able to live without me. or there is also maybe the option of driving to ohio (which i'd have to drive thru on the way home anyway) and staying w/ christy's boyfriend brad's mom for a little bit while they keep trying to place me w/ a family. she was going to let me stay w/ her the 4th of july weekend, but my dad had already booked the hotel. maybe i could stay with her just for a little while and regroup. i dunno, i guess i have some time to figure that out.
my computer is a mac. which means it's beautiful and clean, besides the fact that the os is stable and sturdy and all that jazz. the keyboard has white keys and is held together by clear lucite casing stuff. which means that you can see all the dirt and junk that gets stuck down inside. and it is absolutely driving me nuts. i don't have any qtips to clean it out with and i hate seeing my pretty pretty pretty mac be neglected like this. now given my situation of not having a job or a place to live, does this not seem like a really petty stupid thing to be bothered by? it totally is, but it's completely driving me crazy. the same thing with my hair. i need a haircut SO badly, and the color has faded off and is getting really yucky. everytime i look in the mirror, it's like, dude my hair looks like ass. and i think it's really weird that i'm so fixated on random small-potatos things like this that dont really matter in the long run. in the midst of all the craziness in my life, the things i think about the most are my keyboard, my hair, and a boy who may or may not like me. what is this, junior high?
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[25 Jun 2005|06:06pm] |
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i think i was like seven or eight when i decided i would open a hotel when i grew up, so i drew floorplans and planned menus for the room service, drew designs for the logo and for the maid's uniforms. i was so ambitious back then, i wish i knew what happened.
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[04 Jun 2005|09:21pm] |
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music |
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saves the day- anywhere with you |
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I GOT A JOB AND I'M MOVING
to monroe, ny.
totally in a daze right now but when it all sinks in there will
most like be a very long freak out post for you all to enjoy. what.a.day
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| "hey doctor, my cooter itches" |
[04 Jun 2005|04:26am] |
funniest words ever for girls' private parts:
afro clam
mud flaps
goodie drawer
and my favorite: the notorious V.A.G.
coffee at midnight was a baaaaaad idea. i'm retarded.
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| ch ch ch ch ch ch changes |
[31 May 2005|04:58am] |
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soooo.... the lady w/ the three boys called. left me a voicemail. FINALLY. not sure how i feel about that. she wants to meet me. i was her second choice, but the other girl "clearly will not work" with their family. hmm. she was concerned about my organizational skills. and still is. i'm not sure if this woman is bitchy, or if she's just very blunt and north. i don't know, im just not excited about the prospect of working with her after she blew me off for a month. i think that's gay. but i don't know. she get's why i want to get out of texas. so that's something. but her schedule is weird. i don't know what to think. i'll have to meet her in person, i think, to really get a feel for her. her kids are too old to get armadillo stuffed animals for. or at least the 11 year old is. weird.
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[26 May 2005|12:40am] |
new layout.
yes, yes it is.
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| quirky alone inner dialogue |
[22 May 2005|05:21am] |
my last boyfriend (four years ago) his best friend was at the time engaged and now married to my best friend. so as you can imagine there were a lot of double dates. we had all known each other for years and years growing up and our lives were intertwined to say the least. alex and i dated in high school and broke up for a while and started dating again in college. mike and lindsay did the same.
lindsay and i were cooking dinner for our boys one night while they sat in the living room and watched tv. she was talking about how mike's family used to live in california, and how they had discussed moving there someday after college. my heart stopped for just a second, in one of those "life flash before your eyes" kind of moments while i wondered how my best friend could just pack up and leave me, even in her imagination. but then she said "you and alex could come to, we'd be like the ricardos and the murtzs..." and for whatever reason, this seemed to make sense to me. that we would play ethel to the other's lucy into adulthood. except we were the same age. so i imagined that lindsay and i would push our baby strollers together, our kids would grow up together, our families would live on the same block, and carpool to the PTA meetings together. and the boys would watch the kids while she and i got into trouble at the chocolate factory and such. then alex and i broke up. mike and lindsay did not. their life together continued on course, without me.
a few years later alex started dating another girl rather seriously. by this time lindsay and mike were married and had their first child. and now alex and his new girlfriend double-dated with my best friend and her husband. alex's new girlfriend was pushing the baby stroller. this new girl was stealing my sitcom fantasy.
i seem to have gotten this idea that my friends' lives will progress at the same rate as my own. that we will want the same things at the same times, and if/when we don't, we'll compromise to maintain the friendship. because that's what friends do. they are there for each other. no matter what.
but that's not what life is. my friends can't do that for me. i guess it's not healthy for me to want them to. i can't expect for our friendship to always be the priority that i want it to. i really long for the lucy/ethel relationship, the "we're in this together" kind of thing. i just want to be as important to them as they are to me. and i feel usually like that's not the case. or maybe it's the case until they find a significant other and then it's "he and i are in this together, you're welcome to come along for the ride, but the car really only seats two..." my life seems to be a lot about patterns, wanting the same thing with different people, even though by now i should know better...
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[22 May 2005|01:06am] |
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i have kind of a weird dizzy headache. i feel like i've been drinking, but i haven't. instead i spent the later part of the night walking around in the gay district of dallas with jared. weird. not uncomfortable weird, just... fun, but random.
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[15 May 2005|01:22am] |
i'm getting spam in german?!?!?!
WTF?
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